parisjemm:

a relationship is like a house

if a lightbulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you just change the lightbulb.

unless that house is a lying whore

then you burn the fucker to the ground and buy a better house with lights that you can fucking count on.

i’d dress nicer but i dont have the money or body

tylerfucklin:

can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you.

why would i want blank paper

radstunts:

thirteenth-zodiac-sign:

bllonde:

Dear tampon and pad companies:

Please make your items quieter to open.

Sincerely,

The whole restaurant/household/bathroom now knows I am on my period, thank you.

I just thought my flat-mates were eating crisps in the loo. 

that is the single most british sentence i have ever read